I dont know why, but I accepted another challenge; the Twelve Week Challenge… and within that, another challenge set by the Flattie.
I am at two minds bout this and I am currently sitting in the limbo phase of before full fledged dedication. On one end, I am really excited to achieve something again! To feel confident, to be confident to get my “balance” back. Then, I am flat, I am lathargic, I am anxious because that word… oh that word. It is that word that comes up shortly after Xmas, that word that people throw around after the new year, the word people moan about before an event like a birthday… the little demon we call “diet”.
How can this be positive? How can this word ever make me feel better when I spent the months since “The little demon we call diet” blog post until late January, “bulking”?!? I say bulking as if I was training for competition, but I really acted as a bear preparing for hibernation. Although it was summer… and, knowing I would be dieting for twelve weeks, I took it as the prime opportunity to act as an excuse to eat every single take away, packet of cheezles, ice cream, carb carb carb cheezles I could manage. Stupid.
Im really writing this post because I feel like it might motivate me. On the eating front as well as the training. I want to believe myself when I say (to myself) “you can”. I want to be able to tell that voice inside my head, that voice that is keeping me in my challenge limbo, to go away. So if the intention is there, why is nothing happening?
Oh wait thats right… because I am not letting myself. Maybe dont want this bad enough? Maybe I am not motivated by non alcoholic prizes of these challenges, like the last one? Maybe I just thought it would be as easy as last time. But you know what? I was so happy with my result, I had actually, until just now forgotten the hard part.
I need to find my drive… me mojo! That thing inside that gives that other thing inside the middle finger… help!
Upon commenting on my lack of motivation (and again not doing anything about it), a wise sadist i like to call ‘Yoda’, once told me:
“discipline beats motivation. People with motivation only train when they feel up to it. People with discipline train because it’s what they need to do. Discipline is a trainable aspect of fitness. You get better at it by using it…”
Just think about that for a second.
Last week I had my weigh in with another Sadist, my flatmate who is teaching me how to punch things (and punch em goooooood!). Even though I have been in my limbo rut, complaining and winging I HAVE ACTUALLY LOST WEIGHT aaaaand I have lost centimeters from each place I measured before I started the challenge. I am on track! For the first time since high school, i currently weigh under 70kg! Woah!
This takes me to my closing point. Going back to what Yoda, The Sadist said above. What was i able to take in from my final weigh in?
JUST DO IT!
Forget “diet” just think of “discipline”.
You dont have to feel that inovative spark that makes you want to be a dancer after watching all the Step Up movies. You dont have to smile like the people you follow on Instagram during a painful workout. You dont even need to eat salad every meal of the day.
All you, all WE need to do is to keep using that discipline thing, whether we are concious of it or not (clearly i havnt been). Motivation can suck a duck! If you are not feeling it, dont worry – just keep going, even if you winge about it, keep going (try your best to stay away from cheezles and mashed potato) and like me, you might surprize yourself with some pretty fab results!
*cheers to Pete from Healthwise aka Yoda, my bootcamp trainer
*cheers to Tommo from Power of S, my flattie & P.T
*cheers to my Sosages, Elysha & Supry for years of wisdom and friendship – i am ever aiming to make you proud!