More cathartic rambles…
I was discussing with a friend of mine, the idea that I know I need to let go, but that I dont feel ready. He had moved away from home to another country, so I asked him how he dealt with it while being so far away. He explained how he uses what he/we have been through to try and find a way to put it towards something postitive (now I have to admit I was well deep into a bottle of sav so I cannot remember what those positives were, but I remember they were lovely). It really got me thinking…
There are so many movements, charities, voices that aim to raise awareness for Suicide Prevention but I honestly cant tell you how I feel about them. I have not done research on them, nor on the topic; but one thing I do know, is people are choosing to die.
We live in a new 50/50 age where either: many opinions (like soooo many) are voiced vs the serious things made into memes about Susan. We are all publicly arguing & complaining OR making light on the surface, of darker things really going on. Everything is a something and a something is a nothing – but it is opionized, on public forums, for everyone to like, comment or even just see.
But where do you LISTEN?
When do we all activley listen?
When do we listen between the lines?
When are we listened-to between the lines?
Have you ever walked through a crowd of people or been at a party, with all your friends or even sat at dinner with you entire family and still felt lonely?
We live in a time where conversations are: waiting for the other person to finish, so you can add your own opionion, perception or experience of what they just said.
When do we make the time to listen?
These charities and voices are just that. Voices. “Speak out” “its ok to not be ok” and while they are valid, powerful messages, I in turn feel like everyone is too opinionated to hear them. We are all talking so much about so little. So much speak, that the mindless noise has become all consuming. I find myself for hours, watching stories of people I do not know, just rambling; why do we love to complain about people winging, yet can happily sit around, at a distance and watch them winge?! What are we listening to? What are we choosing to listen to? And why?
How come we find eachother so facinating at a distance, yet on the street have a panic attack of inner conflict, of whether to say hello or not? We have the ability now, where everything can be so instant and in the moment, that we have lost the time to be facinated with ourselves. We have lost the time to actively listen. We rush to give our voice without hearing someone elses.
I guess where im going with with this one is, the next time you have a genuine conversation with someone, wait, think & process what they have just said – try not to be balls deep in a bott of sav that you forget the amazing positives your friends are utilising!
There, I just did it, the Susan meme. I cut my own tension by making a joke out of something dark. Why?
Maybe I think you will find me more fasintating if I dull my opinion down to a farce. Maybe I worry about giving my 100% so humor hides how serious this really is to me. Maybe I feel less lonley when I make fun, because I know its easier for you to handle. Maybe it is just too heavy, my tension is best broken so you have no need to carry it with you afterwards.
People, our people, our collections, our loved are murdering themselves. There is no fucking joke about that.
Before you speak, listen. Actively listen.
And make sure you are being listened to.
I am just about to be brave and publish this piece, written a very long time ago and edited again, a while after that. Reading over this now, I noticed I couldn’t quite decide on the main point of this post (not that I need to, it is mine after all). Am I talking Sucide Prevention or more on the idea of Surface Relationships?
Could these surface level relationships almost factor into suicide and the ideology of not speaking out?
In modern times we have achieved so much speed and superficial relationships but we have lost depth.
What do you think?
What do you think?